Saying Goodbye
by rubberduckie16
Summary: I dont want to say goodbye but i have to...... Addison. Oneshot.


AN: I know some of us are really disappointed with the finale. And my heart really broke for Addison. I love her. And she seriously doesnt deserve Derek. And i really felt bad for Izzie too. So i wrote a fic out of boredom and frustration. I hope you guys like it eventhough i know its not that good. Please review

Disclaimer: They're not mine.

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Saying Goodbye

Addison stood in the middle of the dance floor alone because Derek left her for a patient. She looked around and saw Finn also standing alone. Why would he stand in the middle of the dance floor alone? Unless Meredith left him there like how Derek left her.

Then it hit Addison. Derek is somewhere with Meredith. She wanted to push the thought aside but she couldn't help it. She wanted to run away and be alone. She walked away and looked for an empty hallway to an empty room. She opened the door and she wished she didn't.

Her husband was having sex with his girlfriend on top of an exam table.

Tears welled up and she couldn't move, she couldn't breathe. She stood there, looking at them disgustedly. She let the tears fall. Derek stepped away from Meredith and pulled his pants up.

"Addison…" He started. Addison just stood there eyes fixed on Meredith.

"You…. You told me you're not sleeping with him" Addison mustered to say

Meredith looked down. Derek looked at both women. Addison shifted her gaze from Meredith to Derek.

"You could've ended things with me first. It would have been less painful" Addison said barely audible. With that she turned and walked away.

She walked faster and as she turned into the corner she bumped into Finn.

"Addison, are you alright?" he asked. Addison shook her head and walked past him.

She went to the balcony and stood there as she stared outside at the cloudless night. She let all the tears out. She couldn't run anymore, she doesn't know where to go. She slid down and sat on the floor hugging her knees. She doesn't show her vulnerability in public but she couldn't hide her inner turmoil anymore. She rested her head on her knee and continued crying.

"I thought you're not the type of person who cries in public, Addison" She heard someone say. She looked up and saw Izzie standing in front of her still in her "prom" dress with her tearstained face. Addison let out a weak smile. Izzie sat next to her without saying a word. Addison felt a little better to have someone next to her as she weeps.

"Denny asked me to marry him and I said yes. My short lived engagement didn't even get celebrated" Izzie said quietly as a new batch of tears crawled on her cheeks.

"I saw Derek and Meredith having sex" Addison whispered and tears wouldn't stop flowing.

Izzie looked at her sympathy and shocked expression.

"I'm sorry" Izzie said

"Me too" Addison whispered as she stared at nothing in particular.

They sat in silence both women were crying. They could here the faint music from the prom and the sad song made them cry even more.

"I didn't even get to say goodbye" Izzie whispered after awhile.

"I don't want to say goodbye but I have to" Addison said

"I love Denny"

"I love Derek so much but he'll never love me like he used to again"

"I just want to be happy"

"Me too" Addison said, tears wont stop falling "but he makes me happy… well, used to"

Dr. Bailey stood looking at the two women grieving for their loss. George and Alex were standing behind her. Addison and Izzie didn't notice them.

"I didn't want it to end this way" Izzie said

"I never thought we'll end this way. I need Derek. If I didn't, I wouldn't leave Manhattan"

"I don't know what to do"

"I have nothing left." Addison said choking back tears. "I lost my parents, and now I lost Derek. I'm alone. I have nothing left"

Izzie looked up at Addison and put her arms around her.

"I'm so sorry, Addison. I'm so sorry"

"I'm sorry too. And for the record, don't throw your career away just because of this. You'll find someone who cares and loves you" Addison said. She pulled away from Izzie and stood up.

She noticed Miranda and her interns looking at them. She turned to the opposite direction and walked away. Miranda followed her as the interns went to Izzie.

"Addison" Miranda said. Addison stopped walking and turned to Miranda

"Are you alright?"

"No. Derek loves Meredith. I need to let go. I need to say goodbye"

"You deserve so much more than Derek" Miranda said and Addison nodded.

Now, she knows what to do. She needs to move on.

She got to the trailer and saw Derek sitting on the porch drinking beer.

"Addison" Derek said and she walked towards the trailer.

Addison just walked past him and packed her bags. Derek didn't follow her. He just sat on the porch.

"Addison, let's talk" Derek said as Addison walked out of the trailer with bags in hand.

"I don't really want to talk. But I'm just going to say a few things. I'm sorry for everything, really, I am. And I hope you realize everything I did for you—for us. Goodbye, Derek" Addison said and handed him a manila envelope. "I love you so much" she whispered. "I hate to say goodbye, but I have to face it"

Derek stood up and moved closer to her leaning for a kiss. Addison stepped back and looked on the ground as tears starting to form again. She turned around and walked to her car and drove away. The image of Derek in her rear view standing there motionless will forever be imprinted in her mind.

Addison was determined to move on. She loves him but love is never enough.

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Please review! 


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